ONE little MOMMA: Always Late? Guilty.

Always Late? Guilty.

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Photo credit: Sarah Sweeney

You know the feeling of showing up early, being totally prepared and ready to give 100%?

Yeah, me either. Especially lately. Over the past few months, I think I have been better than ever at solidifying my reputation for being late, dropping the ball, or apologizing my way out of something I forgot. Every email I reply to starts with "I'm sorry for the delay," and no one expects me to arrive any time but late. It's tough. And I've been struggling with a lot of guilt in that area.

I feel bad for making other people wait. I hate being a flake and unreliable. I don't like doing a poor job.

The thing is that I'm busy. But I know everyone else is busy too. So my busy-ness isn't a good excuse for my lateness. But there are only so many things that can take first priority in my life. I can get anywhere on time if that is the priority that day, but the 30 other priorities that came earlier in the day make it impossible for me to consistently be on time. I mean, I can get Easton to basketball practice on time once, but every week? Probably not!

Part of me is realizing that I am over-scheduled, and this might be a season of life where I can't help itand one where I need to learn to say no. I hate disappointing people, so saying no is tough for me. But it always comes back to bite me when I REALLY disappoint someone in the long term by dropping the ball later when it really matters. Which happens.

I'm sure this isn't a problem that only I have, because everyone I know is really busy. There are so many good ways to spend our time, and the challenge is to discern where spending our time and energy will make the biggest difference. I know I fall prey to comparing where I put my priorities to where someone else has theirs. If I don't prioritize getting to a meeting on time as much as someone else, I end up comparing my lateness to their early arrival and feeling crummy. I know that if I compare my failings to someone else's strengths, it's always a losing game, but I haven't ever considered the danger in comparing priorities. Sometimes it's really priorities that we compare and not abilities. I could do really well at a lot of things, but where I put my energy shows what is most important to me. And it's the same for everyone else.

So I think I need to keep looking for places to say no upfront and then practice doing it. Take the discomfort for the few seconds it takes to say, "I'm sorry, but I can't right now." And I also need to stop myself from comparing. I have got to remember that each of us has our own priorities. My priorities are where my strengths will show, and other people's priorities are where theirs will come out. If I want to do better at something, it will only come by bumping it up to one of the coveted first few priority slots. And if it can't fit in there, I need to let the guilt go. There's nothing more I can do.

I'd love to hear how you find ways to say no. How do you either fix or get over the discouragement that comes with being late or being the weak link?




9 comments:

  1. Love your graphic top!

    Liv

    www.livforstyle.net

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  2. Hey Kilee. I just wanted to let you know your not alone! Sometimes the scheduling thing is just hard. And the fun part of being a mommy is you don't just handle your priorities, you handle everyone's. But the great thing is you are trying to change and you've recognized your struggling. That's a big step right there.

    I might make a few suggestions (that being said I am far from perfect and I don't have nearly as much on my plate as you do). When I realize I'm struggling with my schedule I have to take a night and slow down and analyze what needs to change. For example, are we spending forever looking for shoes, did I not pack the bag the night before, am I getting out of bed after the alarm. It could be a million different things. If it's something I need to fix I come up with a self made plan. If its something I need to fix with the kids (like getting shoes ready the night before) or my husband (I need help putting 1 load of laundry away every week), we come up with a plan together. It's great to ask for help! After all they are family and they want you to be happy too. Sometimes it still takes awhile to adjust and we need to tweak the plan. But overall I feel so much better.

    I hope this helps a little. I'm sure things are even crazier right now with the holiday season. But either way, keep going Momma! You got this!

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  3. You should read "The Best Yes" by Lysa Terkeurst. It's all about learning how to say no, and what to say no to. :)

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  4. A great post. I struggle with the same thing, and not only did it make me feel better, but also put things into perspective.

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  5. Great cozy look! Especially the sweatshirt and its slogan!

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  6. Wow, you look absolutely amazing in this outfit. :D
    Do you wear those little socks with your sneakers or do you prefer to go sockless?

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  7. I am terrible about this, too. But I know for sure that planning the night before helps so much. I'll plan my meal (do I need to stick something in the crock pot in the morning?), plan my kids clothes, make sure the dishes are done so I'm waking up to a clean kitchen, go over my calendar, etc. I feel so much more on top of things when I do that.

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. you looking such a cute and very pretty...nice combinations...pics are too good.....this style is much attractive...

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Thank you so much for taking time to comment!