The Internet is a tricky thing. Everyone is trying to put their best foot forward, but it's easy to think that we're the only ones with a...bad foot behind us..? Ha. Well you know what I mean, and you ought to know that I really value sharing both sides of the coin because it helps us all feel more normal. So today I thought I'd mention a few things that have been on my mind. The pretty pictures and the cute shoes and the happy kids are real. Our business growing and keeping us busy and happy is real. But there are also real struggles that I have too. So today I thought I'd confess.
The truth is...
- Our water or our electricity almost get shut off every other month. It's not shocking at all anymore when I get a bill that has yellow or red warnings all over it. It's not because we can't pay them, I just forget to because they aren't on auto-pay. Things are so busy with work and kids and life that paying utility bills doesn't exactly happen like clockwork. Last month the guy literally came to shut off the gas, and I luckily had enough cash to pay him then and there. True story.
- My kids eat way too many hamburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza. And it hurts to admit that! I majored in nutrition if you can believe it, so it's painful to realize how unhealthy our meals can get. But healthy eating takes planning, and planning takes time, and time is short. Some weeks I do really great at getting dinners made that are well rounded, and I'll even bake banana bread. Lots of other weeks it's takeout or the drive through four out of seven nights.
- I have to say no to a lot of things that I want to do. Someone recently asked me what I do for me that isn't related to work or family, and I had to say, "Um nothing." I blog, but I struggle to find time to do that, and even blogging is part of my job. I have to say no to pedicures with friends, girls' nights, social events, and alone time because there just is no extra time in this phase of life. I'm super lucky that I enjoy and have created a job for me and my husband that we love. But when what you love becomes your job, you still look for other hobbies too, you know?
- I talk about myself way too much. And I usually act like the world revolves around N&S. I mean for us it kind of does, but I need to do a better job at paying attention to other people. It's surprisingly hard. I struggle to talk about things other than work with people. Because we're in the beginning of growing our business, it can just be all-consuming. I might not have much else on my mind, or maybe other people have no idea what else to ask me about. I often have to consciously decide not to talk about N&S at all, and then my brain goes to sleep because it's all, "What else is there?"
- It's hard to accept or ask for help. But when you are growing a business, all you need is help. We constantly have too much to do and not enough hands that know how to do it. So we border on asking too much of our people and definitely can't say thank you enough to make up for it. I'd rather just do it all myself, and the truth is I totally can't.
- We have tons of good problems. And we try to be grateful for them.
- Good problems can be just as crushing as bad ones.
- Lots of days I'm doing my best and it's not enough. It's not enough so I let people down, I let myself down, and things end up in ways I didn't intend.
- Life is messy and everyone has problems. No one's best is good enough, which is why we have a Savior. And that's what helps me wake up every day and keep going, keep trying, keep pushing through good and bad problems with the hope that everything will work itself out in the end.