ONE little MOMMA: Happy

Happy

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TUNIC- Chicwish // PANTS- Express // BAG- Target // CUFF- Stitch Fix // EARRINGS- Nickel & Suede (Scuba Blue- large) // SHOES- TJ Maxx

You guys- the fog is clearing. I'm feeling myself again and man, does it feel good! I've been struggling with a lot of negative, depressed and unmotivated feelings for the last few months and I really appreciate you putting up with me. My poor kids and husband. They have dealt with the worst of it and I think everyone is feeling better now that I am feeling better. My first trimesters are never too hard physically, but mentally they are really tough- and this one has been no different. 

For anyone who has ever dealt with depression- I feel you. It is a real thing and it is so hard. I've dealt with different levels of depression over the years and even though it's not a struggle that manifests itself like nausea, it's a whole other class of difficulty because it's your mind! Depression twists your perspective on everything and changes how you react and what choices you make. And knowing you are depressed doesn't really make it any easier. It's hard to act like yourself when your brain literally isn't thinking like itself! 

Lately I am recognizing the HUGE blessing of coming back to life and out of the depression haze. Now I'm still not THAT chipper or optimistic or friendly or fun (those are character flaws that I'm working on....), but I am happier, more optimistic and hopeful in general. I have been more productive lately (which always puts me in a good mood) and I've felt like a tangible creative energy coming back. 

This morning I went out on a run. Well, really it was more like a jog but who wants to say- "I went on a jog"? No one. Anyways so I was jogging while Kesler rode his little bike in front of me. He recently learned to ride a two-wheeled bike and is the perfect companion for morning runs- er jogs. Soren always tells him to protect me while we are gone and Kesler takes him very seriously.  I listened to my itunes radio while I go and this morning I heard a particularly appropriate new song. Rachel Platten's song "Fight Song" came on and it made me feel so empowered and happy. It felt so good! Music always makes my runs better, but today it was particularly uplifting and I think it set the tone for the day. I came home ready to have a good day. And that is what we did!
How do you deal with depression when you struggling? Do you find there are things that help you?

7 comments:

  1. So happy to read that you are feeling better. It's very difficult to fight against the crushing feelings of depression. If you've never been there, it's hard to understand.

    You look absolutely stunning. I really enjoy your style.

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  2. Music is a wonderful thing to help your brain focus positively depending on what you listen to, one of my favs lately is Elevation, (two songs in particular 1. Your promises and great things)

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  3. I can relate. I have dealt with depression since I was 21 and that was only when I was diagnosed. Looking back at my childhood I know I had it way back then too. I take medicine but somedays/weeks even that isn't enough. I do find that being around friends and excercising helps IF you can get he motivation to do either. I truly think that the only explanation for depression (that isn't caused by and event) is the work of the enemy. Praying helps tremendously!

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  4. I love that song too! I just downloaded it the other day! I'm glad to hear that you are feeling a little better. Keep your head up and keep pushing! I will pray for you as well! Have a blessed day!

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  5. I love your top, and those earrings are so fun!
    And so great to hear you're feeling better!
    This Side of Paradise

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  6. Yoga. It has saved me over and over again. Specifically, InBliss Yoga, since you live in my area. Also, "running". There is no better high than a runner's high! Glad you are feeling better, Momma!

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Thank you so much for taking time to comment!