I've been trying to write this post in my head for the last few weeks - ever since I found out the news. But it's a hard thing to say because my emotions about it have been all over the place. In general, I feel great about it - at peace and brave. But late at night or when my gremlins start speaking up, I get nervous and start doubting God's plan a little.
What it comes down to is that the day that our new website for Nickel & Suede launched, almost three weeks ago, my husband came home unusually late. He texted me on the way home with unexpected news. He had fired himself.
I was a little and a lot shocked. I was only a little shocked because he has been extremely undervalued at his job. Because of that, he has been pushing for improvement and change in his situation for months, and for months, his bosses had been trying to get him to back down and quit. I was a lot shocked because I thought they were coming around and that things were looking up. Apparently not. AND it was the exact day we launched our new brand - what worse/better day could there be?
As Soren and I hashed it out that night, we both felt surprisingly calm about it. At this point in life, I fully accept that Soren's happiness at work is connected to every other part of our life, so I totally support his decision to leave. But that left the question: what do we do now? Was it coincidence that it all went down on the day we launched N&S? Soren certainly didn't plan it. Was this our chance to take a risk at my/our dreams of self employment? (Ugh - it makes me nervous just to type that!)
Well, we decided that this was our chance! We are taking the risk of being self-employed and working our tails off to grow Nickel & Suede and ONE little BELT into the businesses that we know they have the potential to be. Soren has SO much to add to the work that I have done for these brands, and I know that between the two of us we have all of the skills to make it happen.
Honestly, it's a dream come true for me to take this chance. I have dreamed for years about Soren being able to dedicate more time to these ventures and helping me to grow them - but no one ever told me how scary the realization of those dreams would be! I waffle back and forth between being scared of failing and being scared of being too successful. I'm super motivated and excited one day, and then totally stressed and burned out the next. I'm basically a mess!
There is so much more I could say, but I can say that I KNOW there are a lot of lessons that we will learn from this situation. One of those lessons is for me is having more faith and relying more on God and less on myself. Who knows where He will lead us or what He has planned, but I'm doing my best to be brave and keep chipping away a day at a time.
Thank you for your support and encouragement. It honestly makes such a difference.
// Outfit Details //
Tee - Nickel & Suede
Jeans - Liverpool Jeans
Shoes - Thrifted (Steve Madden)
Sunnies - Randolph Engineering
Earrings, Cuff, Watch - Nickel & Suede