ONE little MOMMA: What I Wore and Why I Hate Kindergarten

What I Wore and Why I Hate Kindergarten

|
Denim tee + olive skinny jeans + sandals

Denim tee + olive skinny jeans + sandals

Denim tee + olive skinny jeans + sandals

Denim tee + olive skinny jeans + sandals

Denim tee + olive skinny jeans + sandals

If you haven't guessed by my absence this week, we've had a lot going on and I'm feeling emotionally haggard. I hate to not blog, but I hate to blog about my anxiety only. And that has been a little consuming this week. Sorry for spilling it over here so often.

Easton started summer school on Tuesday, and he was ecstatic about going. It is a pre-K prep for the fall that goes throughout the month of June. He gets to ride the bus, take his lunch, learn the school, and figure out the ropes of kindergarten before he starts for real. I was on board with him going because I knew it would be great for him to learn all of those things, and he wanted to go. But, oh, how I'm regretting it now! I really really hate it.

To be fair, he did awesome on his first day. And his second day went okay. Those of us left at home did terribly. I seriously missed him so much. And so did Kesler and Knox. It felt like we were missing someone (uh, we were!) and our schedule was all out of whack. I just felt sad and lonely and weird. That was made worse when, on his second day, he came home grouchy and tired and emotional. (Full day kindergarten is the devil. Seriously, how can it be good for kids? It's too much, I tell you!)

So I kept him home on Thursday. I felt a little guilty but it felt right. He was happy to miss school and go swimming with us. He needed a break and to get back to his normal for a day. I sent him back today, and of course I wish he were home. I'll be worried about him all day until I go pick him up at the bus stop. In a way I am grateful that summer school is so lax that we can take a day off if needed, but in other ways I think, "Why am I doing this to us?!?" I hate, hate, hate the pain of letting them grow up. It's real and I just cry when I think about it. I hate crying. I know school is where he will succeed, and in most ways, he is ready for it. What sucks is that he has to go through some tough days to succeed at school and the struggle to adjust is real - for everyone!

For the past couple of years, I've been in a mom-of-little-ones role, and I've flourished. It hasn't been easy, but I've learned a lot and I've gotten comfortable. I can give advice about babies and toddlers and I'm not scared of having another at some point. But, heaven help me because I'm the mom of a school-goer now. My heart and brain can't handle it, and I haven't a clue what I'm in for.

Will you make this all better? Seriously - how do I get over this? I need all the help and advice I can get.

// Outfit Details //
Shirt - TJ Maxx
Pants - Old Navy
Shoes - Thrifted (American Eagle)
Jewelry - ONE little MOMMA
Clutch - Thrifted

26 comments:

  1. Since I work, I think I'm more used to this however, I dreaded going back to work and sending Grant to daycare. I was worried the daycare ladies wouldn't know what he needed, he wouldn't sleep, be sad, etc. Everything obviously worked out fine and, even though Grant couldn't advocate for himself. Your son can, you get to hear about the day, and know that you have raised him well and prepared him for this time. Traditions are never easy and I'm praying you all can feel peace.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have no advice, but I'm right there with you. My "little" man is going to kindergarten this fall. I'm so sad thinking about it. Not sure how the first day will go! You are not alone in how you feel. I'm actually looking forward to reading your comments just to see how other mom's handle this. Thank you for sharing this! I will definitely be praying for peace and joy for you in this new season of life!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You will soon wonder how you ever did anything with them all home! I literally accomplish nothing when all 3 are home now ie for the next 3 months of summer! & while kids are at school- errands and cleaning are easy. I rotate kids of going to have lunch with them and then since they are all at same campus I can still make all of their parties programs etc :) it gets easier- promise.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You will soon wonder how you ever did anything with them all home! I literally accomplish nothing when all 3 are home now ie for the next 3 months of summer! & while kids are at school- errands and cleaning are easy. I rotate kids of going to have lunch with them and then since they are all at same campus I can still make all of their parties programs etc :) it gets easier- promise.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I never comment, but today I will :) I think because you are home with him so much of the time, it may be a little more difficult. I work full time away from home so sending my son to Kindergarten last fall was tough, but not a whole lot different than daycare. He went full days and I can honestly say that after the year ended (yesterday) and I realized how much he learned and grew and became such a little person--it was all worth it. Our son's school made it very easy to stop in for lunch or volunteer in the classroom. There were so many opportunities to see him in his new "element" and really, it was awesome. You'll be fine!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I stay home with my kiddos, and my oldest just finished up his first year of full day kindergarten (7:30-3). That is a long day, and I was really anxious about it, but you'll get used to it and pretty soon the time will fly. He loved it, and had no problems other than coming home tired every once in a while. Kindergarten teachers are normally awesome, and very understanding of the little ones they're dealing with. I tried to be as involved as I could at the school, and I would frequently email the teacher. My husband and I also went and ate lunch with him one day, which he (and all of the other kids) loved. I think that getting involved helped me more than anything because I was able to establish a relationship with the teacher, and know exactly what went on. :) Good luck with Easton!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Gavin will be starting pre-school this Fall...I'm already a bundle of nerves! :/ Sending good vibes your way during this transition!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Do you have to do a full day? My daughter starts in the fall to and it's only half a day ( while day costs over $3000) and I'm totally fine with half day

    ReplyDelete
  10. I had a hard time when christopher did half day kindergarten. I would go running after I dropped him off & when I walked him home, I would ask him abt every detail of his day. What helped me the most is volunteering in his classroom once a week. I loved it! I've heard of some people only letting their kids go for 1/2, day, but I think they'd feel left out of whatever they missed. Do something fun w/ the younger two that easton is too old for.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My youngest is just finishing up his kindergarten year this next week. Last year he could've done kindergarten but was not emotionally ready for that long day. He did go to preschool for a year before that. It was 2 days a week for 3 hours and did well. But last year he melted down every day after school for the first month. So I realized it was too much and switched him to tk ( transitional kindergarten, a thing we have in California as they are gradually changing the cut off date for starting school from November to September). My boy is an early September birthday. Tk was only 3 hours instead of 5 and he did much better. The point of this long story is, it will be an adjustment for all of you. It will be hard but it will get better. Don't be afraid to make decisions and changes that are right for your child and family. You're a wonderful mom and everything will be ok eventually. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maybe u guys just aren't ready yet (u OR him)! Some kids are more ready at 6 than 5 or even 4. You could just wait til kinder and start then. What's the diff whether you acclimate now or then. If he's still not ready in the fall, could u homeschooling him (kindergarten only takes like 60-90 min of formal school work a day) and then send him in 1st?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I feel so lucky, we have half day. And yeah, I remember feeling the same way when my first went to kindergarten, but it was the best think for her and me. She needed to be with kids her own age learning, and I needed the time to spend with my other littles, as well as get some stuff done. I have another starting kindergarten this fall, and I almost wish it was full day. I could get so much done without the break up of my day. Good luck. Remember you are his mom, do what is best for him.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've always had to work full time so my girls were used to going somewhere all day but that doesn't make starting school any easier. My youngest can't wait to be dropped off (social butterfly) while my 7 year old still cries at drop off some days. Each kid is different. My best advice is to get him ( and you) excited about it. Hype it up, talk about it, decorate folders or whatever supplies he has and make it seem like the most exciting and awesome thing (because it is). Best of luck on your newest adventure. You will would make an awesome room mom btw ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. It will get easier!! I promise. I still remember my daughter's first day of kindergarten (actually my younger daughter remembers my oldest daughter's first day of kindergarten because it was so awful). I cried like all day. They are SO little at that age. But they get bigger and they are naturally more independent. As a SAHM it was hard to let them go. Until kindergarten, I was always with them. Everything they learned, everything they went through came from me. And I liked it that way. But God showed me that we have to trust Him with our kids. Them being in school gives Him the opportunity to mold them and shape them into His will, not ours. Try not to look at it as time that he's not with you, but as time that God gets to use to shape him. Side note-keep the doors of communication open. He will learn all kinds of inappropriate and naughty things at school. Talking to him about those things is where he will learn to follow God and not the world.
    Sami
    http://www.brightsunshinydays.com/

    ReplyDelete
  16. I feel for you! My oldest just finished 1st grade and my second will go to kinder this fall. We actually worked out an arrangement with one of our friends who home schools her kids to homeschool ours at her house. We've done it for 2yrs now. 8:30 am til noon. I think because I was just taking him to my friends house it was easier,, but we all still missed him! Maybe you could be sure to take him swimming & do lots of other fun things this summer to get in plenty of quality time before full time in the fall....which I'm sure you will. Being a mom is hard! Once you think you've got it down, something changes!

    ReplyDelete
  17. My daughter just finished kindergarten last week. At times I wondered if we would all survive.
    Well... We did!! :)
    Although she went to preschool 3 hrs a day, 3 days a week last year, this felt like a whole new world.
    Yes- all-day kinder is tough! The beginning of the year she went for 4 hours and after their 2 week break in the fall, transitioned to 5 hours a day. The beginning of both were challenging. Be patient... It will get better!
    These things seem like common sense now and I wish someone had shared with me before she started. Just a few things to focus on.
    1. Talk to the teacher about going in to their class and check it out- observe, volunteer to help or go at lunch. This eased my mind about the teacher, the other kids, their schedule and activities for the day. One of my friends offered to watch my youngest just so I could go in and it made me feel Much better about it all.
    2. Don't be surprised when they come home and you ask "how'd it go?" or "what did u do today?" and they respond "good" or "I don't know". Don't push it, wait for them to open up later about it. Mine usually did.
    3. My daughter came home so exhausted that she was grouchy and not kind to her younger brother or me. I think she was trying to follow all the rules and be so good at school that when she got home, she just let loose. She also seemed to try out some of those not so great behaviors she saw from other kids at school.
    4. Keep communication open. Sometimes I was shocked at the things that happened or were said at school. Try to remain calm and discuss it so she can learn from the behaviors. Be open when they finally do come out and talk even if it isn't the best timing. Also communicate with the teacher often. Whether through email or conversation. Kinders don't remember everything they are supposed to tell their parents about school activities- wacky hair day, permission slips, field trips, etc. But they will be very disappointed when they don't get to participate because you didn't know about it ahead of time.
    You will be amazed at the end of the year how much learning and progress you have all made :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sorry about that long post. I have been following you for awhile and Love your style and blog. I finally ordered my first pair of earrings from your shop today :)!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. It really will get easier - the transition is SO hard though! You are exactly right about the incredible mama pain of letting them grow up. Hugs girl!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sadly, even though our hearts tell us to hold them close, our true job as parents is to push them out of the nest. Luckily, this takes many years, and they never forget the way back home. Let them fly, watch them soar higher than we ever imagined possible.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I am going to give a **gentle** nod to the opposition. I completely identify with the scenario you described. When my daughter left for her first 5 day per week/all-day program, it felt like I was going through some kind of break-up!! I was home with my youngers anyway, and so I began homeschooling. It honestly takes about an hour or so per day, and then everyone is back to exploring, playing, and doing life together. I think public school is perfectly fine, and something you can become adjusted to--but I just wanted to let you know, if you DID decide to keep him home another year, it's very do-able. I never thought I would be a homeschooling family, but it has been one of the biggest blessings of motherhood for me, so I have actually stuck with it into early elementary. But no need to push them out of the next just because it is "time." That timing is a personal decision only your family can determine! Best wishes as you make the adjustment to school-age years.

    ReplyDelete
  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I stumbled across your blog and just had to comment on this. I went through the same thing when my first born started preschool. She went 4 days a week for a few hours in the afternoon and it seemed like she was gone forever! I would be the first parent in line for pick-up and would be so excited on Thursday's because I knew I had her home for a few days. Then she started coming home and telling me what she did and who she played with and I would see the excitement in her eyes. Right then and there I knew this is what she needed to be doing. The smile on her face and the excitement on her face when she would show me the papers she had in her backpack was all I needed to see...she was happy and that's all I wanted her to be. Don't get me wrong when my youngest started preschool I went through all of those emotions again! It will get better for you, don't be so hard on yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I can't offer any advice about being a mom (to anyone - not just a school-goer!), but I can say.... your outfit is the coolest :)

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking time to comment!